Love Story de Ishiyama
by Foreverlyheartbeat
Summary: Summary: Nobody actually knows what happened to Oga the Rampaging Ogre. But what everybody knows is that one day; the ogre came back home bringing a hot wife and a naked baby. Well, nothing is never as it seems, they say. (AU. Non-Demon) Pairing: Oga x Hilda
1. Prologue

**Love Story de Ishiyama**

_Summary: Nobody actually knows what happened to Oga the Rampaging Ogre._

_ But what everybody knows is that one day; _

_the ogre came back home bringing a hot wife and a naked baby._

_Well, nothing is never as it seems, they say._

_(AU. Non-Demon)_

_A/N: I'm very new to both this site and this fandom. Actually, I just started watching and reading Beelzebub after it had ended. And I have never liked it much when I was watching but to my own surprise, I found myself being in love with this awesome anime months after. And now, here I am, with the characters playing plots in my head, even on the day before a very important exam. Now that it's all done and over with, I'm here, as I promised to myself. _

_This is an AU, and no-demons. (Just some demonic humans included ^-^) I'm just borrowing the characters with their certain traits. I'll try to get them in character as best as I can but with totally opposite plots from the manga. Things are not the same as they really are. And I hope I get better as I continue writing.I hope it's interesting somewhat._

_After all this rumbling, all I actually want to say is:_

_Hello and I hope you enjoy the following story!_

PROLOGUE

"Wait…what?"

Furuichi Takayuki, at the tender age of eleven, was confused to the end of his not-so-small wits. He was actually the one with decent logic and relatively rational thinking, and he was commonly known as the General (as he calls himself) or the first-rated weakling (as everyone else calls him).

But all in all, he was the guy with the brains along with the most rational thinking process.

Well, at least, more than Oga Tatsumi, for sure.

But how can he be of all people in the world would have predicted what Oga would say to him for the first thing on the first day of a new Semester.

"Furuichi, I think I'm in love with someone."

Furuichi the self-claimed General was absolutely speechless for a whole 7 seconds.

"Who?"

"What the hell do you mean?!"

"Do you even actually know what you're saying?"

"Where the fudge did you learn to say the word?"

"Are you screwing with me?!" and a million other exclamations of shock and surprise had passed through his small brain at that very moment.

But apparently his mouth works better than his thinking process in a very weird way. Instead of shouting or swearing or saying anything to him like he normally would, he just asked Oga one thing.

"You're not talking about me, right?"

Furuichi learnt the hard way that Oga was actually not (talking about him), and _not really_ gay in the process too.

(Much to the disappointment of yaoi fan girls around the world. Not Really. But one must never underestimate the power they have in store whenever deemed necessary – Life lesson # 63 from the General Furuichi.)

_I_ _actually was not the one to be blamed_, Furuichi thought to himself later. To his defense, Oga never had any other friend other than him. There were no girls that were apparently brave enough to blush in front of Oga either. (They rather ran away screaming their hearts out much to Furuichi's dismay.) And the only female beings that could hang out with an ogre like Oga was his elder sister, Misaki, and her gang girls, whom Furuichi is pretty sure that a pretty good gap of 10 years or around isn't a very lovable thing for any eleven-year-old boy.

If anything, it must be someone who's really strong. Or even strong on Oga's level. The kind of strength that can impress him.

But apparently, no girl was that strong

So who was that Oga talked about?

That was the very first time Furuichi heard about the "L" word from Oga.

(Well not really, he'd heard Oga saying things like "I'd love to see you try." or "Are you loving groveling at my feet?" or the likes during his fights.)

But, no, not the "In love with anyone" stuff, no.

And sadly, Oga never talked anything about the topic again. And Furuichi for all his awesome strategy skills would never risk going into a world of pain for mentioning anything related to that certain incident ever again.

It just remained a mystery, Furuichi nodded to himself, as he finished the conclusion hurriedly yet lazily at the very same time.

He stopped sipping on his Cappuccino and crossed legs on his sofa as he made himself comfortable for his favorite morning soap opera.

Furuichi, the ever dashing bishonen, now at the handsome age of 20, was ready to put Oga out of his mind (and he wasn't thinking about Oga like _that_, oh god no.) and relax for once on his rare Saturday with his special Cappuccino while watching TV.

It never gets old to relax every once in a while, he smiled.

"Well, who am I kidding? This kind of peace and quiet never lasts long. I'd bet something strange and weird must be happening anytime now. I just know my luck." He sunk further into his sofa mumbling grumpily to himself.

And he had no clue why his parents told him about him having a bipolar personality. He's perfectly handsome and healthy!

Right on the clue, his door bell rang.

"I frigging knew it! It should be Oga and no one else!" He exclaimed loudly to no one but still made no attempt to move from his slumped position on the sofa.

'Oh, God or Buddha or Allah or anyone above that can save me, please make the orge go away and let it be 10 pretty ladies instead. They should be blonde, yes they are my thing. And mainly, big tits. Add some long thighs with creamy skin. Hmm, green eyes should be nice. Complete with a silky voice that says sweet things as we do this… and that…'

The door bell continued ringing.

Continuously.

The door bell continued ringing louder and faster.

Furuichi the general was in the killer mode.

"GAH, OGA, YOU SONNAVA BASTARD. YOU GONNA BREAK MY DOOR BELL. Why can't a handsome guy like me have some peaceful time alone fantasizing about blonde babes with," he forcefully opened the door and saw-

"Big tits?"

'I never thought my wishes would come true', he thought dreamily (creepily) and sent his thanks to heavens above when he heard someone say,

"Dah!"

Before anything else could happen, he was knocked out in a single second flat.

That was how, Furuichi Takayuki, at the young age of 20, was found lying unconscious on his door step where he was by his one hell of a best friend, Oga Tatsumi.

"Hey," the blonde babe with big tits, whom the last person that Furuichi had seen before getting his lights out, spoke to the person standing beside her, "Is this the person you were talking about?"

Oga scratched the back of his already messy hair. "Yeah, he is. But he's being a creep. And he didn't even see me. Serves him right."

"Dah!" the green-haired baby sitting _naked_ on top of his head joined the conversation happily, even if it was just one word.

The two adults looked down at the creep on the ground.

"Let's get rid of evidence." The blonde said in her monotonous voice.

"Too troublesome. Let him rot here." Oga replied in his usual bored tone.

"Hello anyone, I'm supposed to get helped here!" Furuichi with his amazing survival power sprung up from the ground.

"See?" Oga simply pointed a thumb at him.

"Huh? What are you talking about?" Furuichi then noticed that Oga was taking to Big tits, not him.

The blonde nodded approvingly. "Certainly, to recover from a knock like that, is really something."

Now, Furuichi the General was flattered.

He began, "Well, actually, there is nothing that I can't do when-"

She turned to Oga and said, "He might be worthy of serving as Young Master's punching bag."

Now, Furuichi the General was crushed.

Before he went into his emo corner, Furuichi noticed one painfully obvious thing.

"Oga, who is that baby on your head? And the big tits who just insulted me?"

He narrowed his eyes at her and she stares straight back. She might be pretty but his pride as a General won't give in easily for any pretty green eyes! Definitely not for big tits. Not for long legs. Not for creamy skins. Damn!

"Well, dickhead, listen well. They are my wife and my son."

"Oh, is that so?" Furuichi smiled warmly as if he was the proud father of Oga and opened his arms widely as if to give a hug, "You must have had hard times dealing with him but I'm sure you're welcomed into this family warmly. And please take care of me from now on too!"

She stared with very little interest back at him.

Oga was waiting for Furuichi to crack.

Furuichi was still smiling like an idiot.

The baby gurgled.

"THIS IS ACTUALLY TRUE?!"

And that was how Furuichi the General experienced that one day, his best friend and fiend forever would turn up on his door step, together with his hot wife and his _naked_ baby.

"Well, see how lucky my Saturday goes?"

"Dah!"

"Don't agree with me dammit!"

TBC.

See you in next chapter!

(Hopefully.)

PS: Worry not! Even if no one reads this, I'm still gonna continue posting this story. ^_^'


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

**Oga the Rampaging Ogre of Ishiyama**

_Track 1: Baby U!_

Ishiyama.

It was one of the biggest cities in Japan. The city had its fair share of history extending back to the era of the Samurais and Ninjas and Lords and Princesses and so on as much as human history goes. There were historical monuments and cultural exhibition areas as well as some ancient buildings and places that attract tourism with its appeal of historical atmosphere. The row of mountains surrounding the city made it almost impossible to travel in the past times when there were no trains or planes to catch or even a boat to sail. Overall, it was a relatively peaceful town (than Tokyo at the least) with its medium-sized population status and plenty of essential industries and institutions.

_If only it can stay the same at night too._

When the dark comes, Ishiyama transforms into a whole different level.

While the average town's person would stay at home to spend time at home with their families having dinner or watching TV, the crowd that rolls on the streets of Ishiyama is nowhere near an average citizens.

Alternate meaning: The nightlife in Ishiyama is restricted to its functioning population only: Gangsters, Yankees, Delinquents, Thugs, Mafias, Hooligans, Hoodlums, Goons, and Criminals, anything that goes under the category of "badass or just plain kicking ass".

_And this is where our story starts._

_[ Hey I'll find you_

_I'll catch you_

_I'll come and get you_

_I can't stop thinking about you_

_I'm so crazy for you _

_I won't hand you over to anyone,_

_I'll never want to_

_Baby won't you look at me_

_Just one more time! ]_

Oga flip opened his phone.

"Hello, this is Oga Tatsumi speaking."

"Ah, finally," the male voice from the other call chuckled darkly, obviously trying to sound evil and cruel.

"You are the one called the legendary Rampaging Ogre Oga, eh?"

The voice had sounded suspiciously exactly like the demon loard or the villains from the soap operas that his mom and Misaki watched almost every day. It was the perfect dark tone, laced with evilness, venom dripping, and if the voice alone cpuld kill, Oga would be having a nice trip to the afterlife now.

But, our main hero, Oga Tatsumi, was already too used to this kind of situation.

For Oga, this was one of the overused clichéd lines anyone would say to him. He had long gotten used to the fact that everyone else in the world likes to fight him and he would never refuse a good fight for his part.

It's not like he's began fighting just yesterday not to understand when a person is trying to sound threatening to him. For as long as he had remembered, there was nothing that could send him running for his life.

The only bonus about something like this is that the adrenaline rush never failed him to feel alive.

(Everyone likes people groveling at their feet, right?)

"Well, yeah?" He replied in an uncaring tone and was pricking his nose with his phone-free hand.

The person on the other side was about to make his overly long devilish monologue when he heard a voice.

"Oga! It's time!" Furuichi's voice called out to him from the distance.

"Coming." Oga shouted back and turned back to his phone, "Sorry I'm a bit busy now. Call me after 2. Bye then."

"WAIT-!" but Oga had already cut off the line and slipped the hand phone into his shirt's pocket. He fetched a coat that's hang on the wall and slipped it on. Dusting off his ripped jeans, he walked in front of the mirror and checked his attire.

"Heh, looking bad-ass as always." Oga chuckled to himself.

"Stop looking creepy and get your ass out here." Furuichi said with a frown from the bedroom door.

"Yeah, you're right. It's your character to look creepy and not mine." Oga tucked his hands in his pockets and verbally jabbed him as usual.

"And yours is to look all demonic and barbaric." Furuichi deadpanned but Oga just shrugged it off.

"Stop bitching and start walking or I'll lock my front door." Oga was already in the living room.

"Who with a sane mind in Ishiyama would ever dare to break into the Ogre's apartment anyway?" Furuichi deadpanned again but finally walked across the said apartment.

"Shut your trap or I'll sew your mouth."

"Yeah, yeah."

Silence fell after that, and Oga (really) locked his front door and the two walked down the stairs since Oga's apartment is on the 3rd floor.

"I'm still surprised that this building is still standing tall and nice. I had a bet with my folks that anywhere that you've moved out won't be a safe zone anymore. But life can still be surprising sometimes, I guess." Furuichi spoke as he inspected the building from a still visible distance.

It was a three storey apartment building, with only a total of 9 rooms, having 3 rooms per floor.

Oga's room is the room number 7, and is the furthest, darkest side (since the trees cluster the most around that part of the building whereas the other side is plain clear) and actually had a nice view when the sky was clear.

This site of Ishiyama was neither overcrowded nor deadly silent. It's a pretty nice place to live in, actually.

"How did you get the money anyway?" Furuichi turned his back to his brunette friend, who was looking as aloof as always.

Oga looked thoughtful for a moment and answered, "Actually, I had no idea that this place actually exists if Himekawa never showed me. I just told him last week that I wanted to moved out from my folks' home and even showed him my currently available financial status and," He scrunched his nose as Furuichi started giggling. "Stop being a creepy ass!"

Furuichi laughed out loud for some good stomach-aching laughs then immediately stilled his face into the General's super blank face. "And then?"

Oga grumbled but continued his story, "He made me a deal and I accepted that. End of story."

"That was all? Oh, man. I was hoping for some embarrassing flashbacks of you begging Himekawa-senpai or making a very very awkward deal with him. Knowing how the pompadour works, the deal must have been tricky and wicked. Not that I think you, being the idiot you are, won't notice it even it was shoved into your face. What was the deal, anyway?" Furuichi calculated like a true General. (and he's the only one having fun acting like that.)

(Maybe_ too much bit of fun, but who cares?_)

Oga, certainly, was not amused to hear all the useless rumbling of this creepichi but the said General had to be included in his plans for today so he pep-talked his mind and decided that he would be a man who forgives _today._

"Does the deal include you getting nude or shaking your ass for him?" the ever brave General mused further.

By then, Oga praised himself that he had been a man who was being forgiving for _a whole freaking minute_ and that he had had enough of the creepichi's rants.

So he just punched Furuichi into the evening sky.

"IT WAS A JOKE!..."

And an early star twinkled in the place where Furuichi disappeared in the evening sky.

Oga merely dusted off his hands and continued towards his destination.

The evening went by pretty past as he walked and soon darkness fell onto Ishiyama but the artificial city lights could compare to any daylight and the city became filled with the usual night time crowd.

Not that any of them would actually dare to bump into the infamous Ogre, much less get in a fight with him.

Legend says that Oga Tatsumi steals the souls of even small cute fussy warm kittens. Yeah, that's the extent of his cruelty.

So with a human-free 2 meter radius zone around him, Oga walked in his truly lazy and bored fashion. After a good few minutes, he stopped in front of the place he was told to come to.

"Is this really the place?" Oga asked to no one and no one dared to answer him.

**_CHUPACUPACABRUS CLUB_**

The name of the club in the neon lights were buzzing like any other neon signs he had seen but Oga had this stinking feeling that he _knew_ the name from somewhere and that name doesn't mean anything good or worse, he felt like he was going to get a punishment or something just by reading the name.

Oga narrowed his eyes, glaring at the neon sign that was mocking him in his opinion. Sweat bullets rolled down from his forehead and he felt this really weird feeling at the bottom of his stomach.

"Gah! Screw that! A deal is a deal." He kicked an innocent small stone and also kick opened the doors with very little effort.

However, he was certainly not expecting the heel that was thrown towards his forehead with a deadly precise aim.

"WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE BEAUTY QUEEN THAT YOU MEAN HE ISN'T HERE?! I WANT MY TAKERU-CHIN AND NO ONE ELSE. IF YOU GUYS DON'T MAKE HIM COME OUT HERE, I SWEAR TO THE GOD OF BEAUTY THAT NONE OF YOU WILL LEAVE HERE ALIVE."

And the battle cry that followed after was certainly that he was looking forward to today.

Oga groaned and pulled the deadly heel out of his face, blood dripping across his nose.

He looked at the expensive looking (but actually cheap and fake, blame his sister for her shopping sprees) piece of shoe and a shock wave travelled through his brain.

_Oh no. The owner of this heel is…_

He looked at the commotion that involved taking a single woman down by about 8 man wearing club security suits.

No doubt, it is…

"Ya, Oga." Oga flinched away from the hand that landed on his shoulder and faced Himekawa, or in Furuichi's words: Sexy-kawa version, his silvery hair down and straight with glittering fairy sparks in the background.

"…"

"Nice timing you got here." Sexy-kawa smirked like the normal pompadour Himekawa and shot a glance at the uproar, "For your first mission as a bouncer in my club, go solve that."

Oga sighed. Any other day, he would have kicked this pompadour or sexy-kawa or any ass a few good meters away but his deal was standing in the way of his usual violence.

"Yes, bossy-ass." Oga mumbled but Himekawa heard it. However, he merely smirked again, looking how things would come out.

Oga walked at the fussing area, with a dusty smoke surrounding the people fighting in it. But now he could see that the woman was clearly kicking the ass of any guy reaching around her, he supposed that he would have no other choice but to use his secret weapon against her.

"FURUICHI!" Oga shouted with all his might.

Some people that were watching the fight shot him a few confused glances but the fighting still continued.

_Not coming out easily, huh?_

"THERE'S A SEXY LADY IN FRONT OF ME!"

Oga had a universal formula that he could use anywhere, anytime, for anyone.

[ Oga looking at + Any sexy or hot lady = A jealous and perverted and feeling left out Furuichi. ]

A star twinkled in the night sky above.

That was the day the people of Ishiyama saw an orbit falling down to earth.

Or maybe that was something else.

Or just someone?

"OOOOOOGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAA."

And that high velocity looking mass landed straight into the club's roof and directly into the dust of the fighting people.

Everything stilled for a minute with complete silence.

Some were holding their breath and others were wide-eyed as dinner plates.

Oga coughed, dusting away the smoke.

He turned to Himekawa, who was jaw-dropped to the floor and said, "There. Problem solved."

"…"

Furuichi coughed as well, the dust clearing the scene now.

"Oh my, Tatsumi and Takachin?"

Furuichi was floored when he saw the lady who was looking down at him.

No, it wasn't because he was a coward or that Misaki was looking at him.

It was the fact that Misaki was in a fighting pose and her left hand gripping a guy's throat (who was turning a nice shade of blue and green), her right hand pulling the ear of another totally beaten up guy, and she was standing on another 4 guys that were lying almost motionless beneath her feet.

It was such a sight to behold that Furuichi might have nightmares about demons for a few weeks from now on.

"Wait, it's someone you know?" Himekawa asked as his green-sunglasses fell onto the floor. Well, they were ruined anyway.

"His sister." Furuichi pointed at Misaki, who was now finishing off the remaining unfortunately alive security guards.

"My sister." Oga was picking his nose with his little finger.

Both answered at the same time that was followed by a loud "EH?!" from the people around them.

About 30 minutes later, Oga, Furuichi and Misaki were sitting in a corner booth, having drinks. The club became full with people again, with the usual drinking, talking, dancing, flirting.

"Well," Misaki put her drink on the table in front of them, "you guys never actually told me what both of you are doing here in the first place."

"…" Oga would have retorted something that would mean like 'Dumbass' or 'Bonehead' when he was younger but the years had trained him to be wise enough _not to_ answer when his sister could instantly kill him on the spot, or at least break a one or two cervical vertebrae.

Furuichi decided to take the matters into his hand…and he was also sort of interested why Oga had come here in the first place too.

When he was about to ask Oga, he noticed a blonde beauty with curly locks that was tearing up the dance floor, with almost all people watching her. As much as he wanted to keep ogling at the hot target with big tits and blonde hair and emerald eyes with a killer body that was doing fluid moves, something at the back of his mind had been poking his subconscious mind and-

_Oh! Big tits!_

"Rather than that, Oga," Furuichi purposefully ignored Misaki's unsatisfied glare and Oga glanced at him as a gratitude for escaping his sister's deadly glare too, "I had this really weird dream yesterday."

Both Misaki and Oga looked at him with equal disgust on their faces.

"Don't tell me it's one of those lewd dreams that you usually have, again." Oga deadpanned.

"Furuichin, you should actually go out and have some. Otherwise, you might end up being this lonely perverted old man with his 20 cats that watches and reads porn in the middle of the night." Misaki shook her head with worry.

Furuichi sweat dropped. "It's not _that_ kind of dream and I _definitely_ will not end up growing old alone, I swear on my sneakers, and I won't have 20 cats and for your information, the night gives the best mood for watching, wait, that wasn't what I was about to say!" He messed up his hair with distraught.

The Oga siblings waited him to finish his solo rambling. After all, 3 of them had known each other for so long that they _just_ know how to jab Furuichi and how he would take the bait and they would end up laughing in the end.

That's how the years went by normally.

But for now, Furuichi did not fall along the usual routine and both of the Ogas sensed that it could be something more important than average to have Furuichi being serious somehow.

"Oga, listen, yesterday, I had this weird dream that on a Saturday, you came to my house bringing your hot blonde wife and a _naked_ baby on your head! You have no idea how crazy that sounds and I ended up waking up drenched in sweat because you guys were going to destroy my poor beautiful house by setting things on fire while cooking a Mackerel, a mackerel of all bloody things! Then, your wife pulled out a sword out of an umbrella, and the baby peed all over my bathroom. When I woke up today though, I was surprised to see everything in my house seemed normal and fine but that dream seriously felt too real!"

While Furuichi was freaking out, Misaki burst out laughing and Oga just looked with utter boredom at Furuichi.

"That's the dumbest thing I've heard from you." Oga commented while taking a sip from his drink. In his mind, he was a tiny bit thankful to Furuichi that he had distracted Misaki enough not to answer her question of him being in this club.

A host club of all things. Heck, he was hired as the bouncer, not a effing host, and now he looked like he was serving his own sister (why the hell she came to host clubs anyway?) and a very creepy friend on his first day of work.

Things would never be normal as he had hoped secretly.

_Since when normality is a part of Oga Tatsumi's life anyway_, he sighed to himself.

Misaki, for one, couldn't stop laughing for the love of her life. She was having too much fun with her little brother having a wife and wow, him being a father?! A responsible husband and father! She just couldn't see her brother being someone like that, since he is usually the ruthless, barbaric man that cares nothing for his fellow man, even for his one and only friend, Furuichin.

But as Misaki wiped her laughter tears away, she just wondered how it would actually be for him to have a family of his own. The thought itself was thrilling, as she would never admit it out loud though. The brat wasn't just mature enough to start anything big or small. She smiled as she watched the two talking animatedly, or just Furuichin rumbling at a bored Tatsumi.

But then, she had the shock of her life when she heard what Tatsumi said.

"Furuichi you dumbass, that was not a dream."

Furuichi stopped talking immediately, unable to make another sound. Misaki was frozen in shock with her amused smile ,which was now turning off, stuck on her face.

And as if on cue, before Oga could explain any further, Oga's phone rang for the second time of this day.

_[ I just want to be by your side (Baby I'm crazy for you)_

_No matter when (Baby I'm crazy for you)_

_Our future that will become one "eternity" will be ours_

_Baby U! ]_

Oga flipped his phone and answered without looking at the caller's ID, "Ya called, Hilda?"

TBC.

(Hopefully see you again!)

_A/N: Ehehe…I'm gonna cut it here. We all know Hilda is the main hot stuff but I still want her to be as vaguely mysteriously for now, just so to make you guys wonder and stuff. The same for Oga and the club and all. So please forgive me for confusing for a while now._

_First of all._

**_THANKS A MILLION!_**

_I have many other words to say, of course, but I'm already taking your time with this stupid A/N and that's the most important thing I need to say to express my gratitude._

_I can feel the love, seriously. Thank you guys._

_For the part of Oga's formula for Furuichi, well…that sounded wrong… in many unexplainable ways. Oh well. Just a reminder, no actual yaoi in here. Just humor, I hope? (As far as mine goes…)_

_Just review and say what you think about this story or anything! Point out my mistakes. Just drop a line!_

_( I still pray that someday my writing skill would improve…somehow…someway…every day.)_

_And for my promise, I'm gonna update again whether you guys like this or not! (Heh heh) so let's meet again in next chapter!_

_For all the Furuichi fans; I have something nice in store for him to be a decent cool character so (with this shameless advertising) please look forward to it too!_

_Then, see ya next time!_


End file.
